once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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