Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Say something about gay babies.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
