Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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