Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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