More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
