So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
