I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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