Three words: puerto rican gang bang
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
