at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
