I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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