bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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