I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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