So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
