I just pynch a tree in the face
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
