Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
