Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
