Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
