Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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