We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
