It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
