Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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