so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
