the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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