My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
