I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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