I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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