dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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