You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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