Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
