Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
