help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
