hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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