You're my little dorito
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
