I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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