do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
