I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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