It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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