i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I puked a lego.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
