We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize