out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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