before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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