I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
