How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize