He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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