How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
