My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
