so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
