I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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