just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
