Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
