she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
