I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
