is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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