we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
