i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
