I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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