Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
