Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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