is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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