Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize