I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
