Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
