last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
