i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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