I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
